Wife: Honey can you please help me cleaning the garden.
Husband: do I look like a gardener?
Wife: ooh sorry honey, OK then fix the bathroom door.
Husband: do I look like a carpenter?…
Then husband walks out, after coming back from where he went, he found the garden cleaned and the door fixed.
Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by herself.
Wife: no its not me.
Husband: who then!
Wife: John our neighbor
Husband: you paid him how much?
Wife: No, he just gave two options, bread or sex.
Husband: I hope u gave him bread
Wife: do I look like a bakery!!!!!
A WOMAN’S INBOX;
Jose: i love you gal.
M-pesa; you have received 1,500 from Martin Juma.
Mose: i miss you baby gal
Anto: are you free i take you for dinner? …
Safaricom: you have received 100shs airtime.
Omosh: gudnyt sweery
M-pesa: you have received 2,100 from Eric Maina. …
Freddy: will you be my valentine?
A MAN’S INBOX;
Cate: pliz nisambazie
Safaricom: you have insufficient funds.
Angie: woishe nibuyie lunch.
Agent: lipa nyumba ama niweke kufuli.
Safaricom: 20shs has been deducted to repay your debt.
Njeri: please call me.
Safaricom: please pay your okoa jahazi balance.
Mwende: i missed my periods.
Paul: ile deni yangu niaje?
Safaricom: please top up to continue.