Wife: Honey can you please help me cleaning the garden.
Husband: do I look like a gardener?
Wife: ooh sorry honey, OK then fix the bathroom door.
Husband: do I look like a carpenter?…
Then husband walks out, after coming back from where he went, he found the garden cleaned and the door fixed.
Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by herself.
Wife: no its not me.
Husband: who then!
Wife: John our neighbor
Husband: you paid him how much?
Wife: No, he just gave two options, bread or sex.
Husband: I hope u gave him bread
Wife: do I look like a bakery!!!!!